Kyra’s Law- Making Gains in Domestic Violence but still Missing the Family Law Reform Measure

It’s no secret that the New York State Family Court system is in need of a serious overall. 2022 marks 60 years since the Family Court Act was passed (nysenate.gov), establishing rules and procedures dictating issues from custody to adoption. Laws, like societal norms, must be adjusted periodically to reflect the demands of the people. Checks and balances are an important process to ensure fairness and equality within our acting governmental bodies. The overwhelming opinion on Family court is negative. Issues such as, lack of due process, docket management, gross neglect, costly litigation, gender biases, discrimination, lack of data records, zero liability for Judges, unfair rulings, harmful attorney practices while dealing with children and so on. In my opinion these should be the top reform policies when discussing family law reform. 

As such with funding, policies get priority when government funding is promised and planned for. Domestic violence organizations are amazing at gaining millions in funding to push local legislation, as seen in bills introduced like “Kyra’s Law” Bill A3346. Much work has been done over these past few years in bringing awareness to all the different forms of domestic abuse; the NYS Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence list several types and tactics for abuse including; physical, financial, sexual, coercion, emotional and psychological abuse as well has “using children and pets” (OPDV.ny.gov) and for that action, I’m grateful. 

Bill A3346 on the surface is a great bill with hopes of restoring some measures of health and safety to the family court while protecting young children from potential harm. The topics addressed in the bill are clear enough to make sense to the average reader and leaves us all feeling better about the outcome. However, I am not the average reader. I’ve studied law as a paralegal for over 5 years, drafted legislation, write policy, have a BA in public policy and have had my white paper on gender bias published in Contemporary Family Magazine. I’ve been following Kyra’s Law for over two years here in New York and while watching that bill develop have been working on drafting and passing a safer and scientifically proven better policy for families referred to as Shared Parenting. 

As stated above, many forms of domestic violence occur, Domestic violence is seen in 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men (https://ncadv.org/STATISTICS). According to the 2020 Maltreatment report, Nearly 40.0 percent (37.6%) of victims are maltreated by a mother acting alone, 23.6 percent of victims are maltreated by a father acting alone, and 20.7 percent of victims are maltreated by both parents (two parents of known sex). Bill A3346 attempts to prevent future harm to children only for it to fall short by limiting its scope of types of domestic violence. This bill aims high in labeling Domestic violence and even addresses identity theft as a possible method to limit custody and fills citizens with fear although the rate of child maltreatment has decreased over the past 5 years (2020 Maltreatment Report, https://www.acf.hhs.gov/cb/report/child-maltreatment-2020). As good as these gains are, there’s no purposeful attack on a common theme we see in high conflict custody cases; coercion control by one parent to damage a loving relationship with the child and their parent. Kyra’s law sets out to define a psychological term (out of scope of practice for attorneys) just to turn around and make it inadmissible in court. Section A under the new 240-e would define parental alienation as; “means claims that a child has become estranged from a parent or legal guardian as a result of psychological manipulation by the other parent or legal guardian”, by this very definition, they are limited abuse that may happen to children! The Office of Prevention and Domestic Abuse acknowledges psychological abuse and defines it as such, “blame, denial and minimization; name calling and put downs; playing mind games” (gaslighting”) humiliation”. If this bill was to pass as written, it would mean children who are psychologically abused will lose their voices in family court, the one place where they’re to be heard! 

Although terms like, “Parental Alienation” are relatively newer, the acts are not. Bad mouthing, withholding visits, rewarding harmful behavior, withholding calls or contact, lying to the children, adult-like discussions inappropriate for their age, kidnapping and more have been seen time and time again. Kyra’s law also sets out to deny any therapy for parent-child relationships that may have been harmed during divorce. This will only increase the negative societal outcomes for children, as they face hidden feelings of distress, guilt, blame and shame leading to poor interpersonal skills and relationship building as adults and according to this bill all it will take to remove a child from the other parent is a statement of “fear” or allegation of domestic violence proven under the lowest preponderance of the evidence standard. 

Noteworthy action from our elected officials in Albany in addressing the many forms of domestic violence and applying rigorist language to improve the lives of DV victims yet, falling short is actually reforming any family court policies. Kyra’s law will not prevent child abuse, it can’t, not when it doesn’t accept ALL forms of abuse. Control though the use of children is abuse. As of today “parental alienation” isn’t in the DSM-5 so, how is it that New York State can define it and then apply it to any measurable outcome? Good policy means better outcomes for the greater population while offering room to adjust as society tells us so. We are in an era of self-help, supporting each other and accepting divorce is a part of life. We need reform measures that reflect these needs. We must look for stronger reform ideas like, a higher level of evidence, therapy in all conflicted divorces, and accountability from Judges by offering Facts Findings and Conclusions of Law, a presumption of shared custody from the filing of divorce to remove the “battle”, offering a clear pathway for DV victims and taking care not to involve children in court cases. 

#SharedParenting

Divorce is a stepping stone, not a gravestone and for far too many- it means losing everything they have only to become a visitor in their own children’s lives while playing dues to a system of abuse and trauma. We can do better for our children and their children by coming to the table together, to reform family law.

*The views and opinions herein do not constitute as legal advice or medical advice. These are opinions.